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Some one always needs you to further describe the items on the menu...each item.'

Some one wants to substitute ingrediants. (You start fearing the cooks at that point)

Some one always wants to substitute for the salad...a more expensive item but for the same price.

Some one asks for their salad without dressing...then asks why the salad is so bland.

Some one wants a different salad...one that is no where close to being in the restaurant (or on the same block).

Some one orders creamy cole slaw...and yours is the chunky kind.

"Are you ready to order?...Are you ready to order? Are you finally ready to order?...Closing time."

No one wants to order until they hear what the others are ordering.

No one wants to order until they see the price range of the others' orders.

No one wants to order until they see the calorie levels of the others' orders.

"You go first....no, you go first...no, you go first." ("Some one just go already!")

"Start with her...come back to me...go that way."

"I'm not really that hungry."

"Is the --- good?" ("No, but we're too lazy to change the menu.")

"What do you suggest?" ("Go to McDonald's and bug them.")

"What's better between the --- and the ---?" ("The more expensive one.")

"I'm just having a salad and watch them eat." ("True, you are fat.")

"We're going to split an entree." ("True, you are cheap.")

"What happened to the --- that use to be on the menu? I loved it." ("Then you should have been here some time in the past year and ordered it.")

"I can't have any dairy/fat/red meat/non-kosher/high colestral items. What do you suggest?" ("Starvation.")

The table takes forever to order...when you know you have food up in the kitchen and the cooks are screaming for you.

"Are you ready?" "We haven't even looked yet." ("Then hurry the hell up!")

They put their menus down, you assume they are ready...then they say we haven't even looked yet.

"Are you ready to order?" "We're taking our time (holding hands). We'll let you know when we're ready."

"Are you ready to order?" "Oh, I don't know yet." "Do you need more time?" "Oh, I don't know yet." "I'll come back in a few." "No, we'll order now."

"Are you ready to order?" "Oh, I guess we have to eventually."

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