AND THAT" AND THAT...AND THAT AGAIN
always spring discount coupons on you after you've totaled up
the bill...during a rush...always on the weekends...when you would
be busy anyway. (Be cheap onthe weeknights, please.)
you gamble and don't bring cream with the coffee -- the customer
wants it. If you do bring the cream -- it goes unused. (Customers
conspire on that behalf.)
is either no bread in the warming drawer or too much bread in
it that hasn't been warmed yet...never the right amount.
credit card approval machine takes forever at 9PM on Saturday
night. (The whole country is charging dinners at that time.)
cook that doesn't like you makes sure to put your food up late.
You complain to the manager and he supports the cook. (Managers
are always scared of the back of the house quitting during the
waiter picks at the french fries on the plate up in the window.
(Like Bill Murray in "Tootsie")
you have five tickets to ring up, the new waitress is in front
of you trying to ring up...one coffee.
salad plates in the freezer are either frozen together (and you
are scared they will crack if you separate them) or are very hot,
right from the dishwasher (and you are scared they will crack
for some other reason due to physics).
pantry guy making the salads mixes everything with his bare hands...really
hairy hands...with extremely long finger nails...hands that haven't
been washed since Christmas...of last year.
there is the right amount of bread in the warming oven, it's usually
already hard like hockey pucks from sitting there for an hour.
have to go through atleast eight coffee mugs in the rack before
you find one with only a slight bit of crud in it.
the time you have to wrap something in tin foil you cut your finger
on the teeth of the box...right before you have to cut lemons.
You finally sell a bottle of wine...and the restaurant is out
of the label.
The table asks you to suggest a wine. Problem is Boones Farm is
not on the wine list. (You lie anyway and make eye contact to
see if they detect you are lying.)
management keeps changing the machine you ring up on just as you
finally learn the previous sytem.
your voids occur during the rush when you can never get a manager
with a key that allows you to void. Then he demands a full-page
written report as to why you must void that item.
ask the customers if they are done. They claim "we can't
eat another bite. Take it away." You throw out the leftover
food. You take their plates back to the dishwasher. You return
to their table...and they ask where their doggie bag is.
take the plate back to the kitchen to wrap the leftovers. You
put the plate down. You leave it for one second to get the doggie
bag. You return to the food...and it has been eaten.
person's name in the United States has a restaurant named after
order dessert at a restaurant that keeps its dessert in a revolving
display. (Like "Mel's Diner")
trust the food in a place that uses hand-drawn signs and displays,
especially in magic marker on gray cardboard.